Draken Bowser: Response
Okumaya devam et...
← Previous revision | Revision as of 20:42, 6 May 2024 |
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| *'''Design''': I stumbled a bit during my first read through since "the hardest part of the costume" is used twice, only to realize it deals with either of the co-designers in turn. Do you think it would make sense to combine the statements into one sentence? -- <s>"The brooch pins together the costume's square standing collar" feels incomplete.</s> | *'''Design''': I stumbled a bit during my first read through since "the hardest part of the costume" is used twice, only to realize it deals with either of the co-designers in turn. Do you think it would make sense to combine the statements into one sentence? -- <s>"The brooch pins together the costume's square standing collar" feels incomplete.</s> |
::Somebody commented on the talk page about this aspect of the article, so now that you bring it up, I really think it's worth addressing. I've reworded that section to more clearly juxtapose the two opinions. [[User ugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| *'''Background''': I think the 20th century revival needs to be more clearly presented as a revival. Otherwise it might be unclear that regional costumes had already existed among the peasantry at parish level, while (iirc) the novelty of the 20th century was the creation of costumes representing entire landscapes (and of course the Sverigedräkt, but there are no issues as to how that's presented). | *'''Background''': I think the 20th century revival needs to be more clearly presented as a revival. Otherwise it might be unclear that regional costumes had already existed among the peasantry at parish level, while (iirc) the novelty of the 20th century was the creation of costumes representing entire landscapes (and of course the Sverigedräkt, but there are no issues as to how that's presented). |
| ::I just reworded that section, adding a couple words like [[romantic nationalism]] from the source. I'm not sure I can say what you're looking for without an additional source to draw from that speaks to folk costume history more generally. [[Userugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| *'''Development''': "nor collaborated with a <s>project</s> partner on a clothing project." | *'''Development''': "nor collaborated with a <s>project</s> partner on a clothing project." |
| ::That's a fine recommendation. Accepted. [[Userugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| *'''Release''': "Sweden's first unisex folk costume" - one instance of notestacking is not worth quarreling over. Still, do you think one or two could be removed? | *'''Release''': "Sweden's first unisex folk costume" - one instance of notestacking is not worth quarreling over. Still, do you think one or two could be removed? |
| ::I do. The stacked citations are there to support that a longer version of that sentence which stated Bäckadräkten is ''widely reported'' as the first. Somebody recently pointed out this was [[WP:SYNTH]], and removed the "widely reported" claim. Now it seems we can get by with just one citation, which is what you'll now see. [[Userugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| *'''Reception''': I think Clue gets just a little bit too much space to expound on their views here. Do you think the second paragraph could be shortened? | *'''Reception''': I think Clue gets just a little bit too much space to expound on their views here. Do you think the second paragraph could be shortened? |
| ::Shortened. [[Userugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| Regards. [[Userraken Bowser|Draken Bowser]] ([[User talkraken Bowser|talk]]) 07:39, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | Regards. [[Userraken Bowser|Draken Bowser]] ([[User talkraken Bowser|talk]]) 07:39, 6 May 2024 (UTC) |
| :Thank you very much for taking the time to read through the article and make a few comments! I look forward to the source review. [[Userugan Murphy|Dugan Murphy]] ([[User talkugan Murphy|talk]]) 20:42, 6 May 2024 (UTC) | |
| ===== Source review ===== | ===== Source review ===== |
Okumaya devam et...